Making the right decisions and hearing Christ’s voice are not identical

I have spent too much of my Christian life striving to make the right decisions. I have failed on many occasions, certainly, and have been repeatedly forgiven as a result, but this is not the point here. God has honoured my commitment to the project of ‘right decision-making’, and has blessed me in the process, but he has also taught me over the years that decision-making is not really where it is at; where he really wants me to be – as if, that is all there is to it. He wants me to make the right decisions, of course, but only after I have heard his voice.

What does this mean though? Rather than me burdening myself with assessing in detail the situations in front of me, of constantly working things out, of relying on my own ability to reason, understand, and know what is ahead of me – and then with my own calculations, motivating myself to act in accordance with what I understand as God’s will. He wants me, instead, to first trust in him, to rest with him in the expectation that his truth will be revealed to me, but always recognising that his love is much bigger and wider than my mere understanding of him. Moreover, that when I do rest with him I have to suspend my desire to make decisions and rather spend time just straining to hear his voice – a voice which often suggests possibilities which are surprising and are not confined to my own limited categories of wisdom and discernment – a voice, in other words, which is infinitely expansive in its promise of peace, love, and joy. It is in this larger place of hearing his voice, where rather than deciding to do things on my own accord however rightly I may act (with the accompanying burden and heavy weight on my shoulders of my decision being made), I instead simply follow his voice which then leads me to his place of blessing and love. As Christ declares in John 10:27-28: “My sheep listen to my voice: I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they should never perish; no-one can snatch them out of my hand.”

Finally, I must confess that I have never liked the idea of being a sheep as it suggests being mindless, which might help explain why I cling to my addiction to my own decision-making. What I have slowly come to realise, though, is that I not only need to get used to the idea and accept this sheep-like role, but also I must look forward to the peace, love, and rest that following his voice delivers in my being mindful of Christ. 

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