Acknowledging my child-like vulnerability

When I pray about my inevitable vulnerability I have noticed three things. First, what a relief it is to acknowledge to God that I am vulnerable in so many ways, and not pretend I am otherwise – I am vulnerable physically, emotionally, intellectually, in my employment, in my failures, in bad decision-making, bad luck, and in my general habitat and surroundings (and that all is prone to decay – the house, the garden, the shed, the fence, me – everything!). In short, I am neither invincible nor impermeable to being fragile and unsure. Second, though, God wants to bless me, and is able to bless me most deeply, precisely in these places of vulnerability – that is, once I fully acknowledge these places and don’t spend my time trying to run away from them and pretend otherwise! Third, and following from the last point, I need to keep asking God and Christ to meet and greet me as a vulnerable child, as this then prompts me to put my trust in him and not depend on my own strength. As a man in the West with a good job, who most of the time feels strong, self-reliant and independent, it is easy for me to assume that I am not vulnerable and that I am no longer a child. Or, more subtly deceptive, it is easy for me to pretend that God has got rid of my vulnerability, and has made me invincible, like a kind of grown-up spiritual Captain Scarlet! We must all acknowledge that he doesn’t make us invincible; he only gives us rest and peace in our child-like vulnerability. As Christ said to his disciples in Mathew 19:14: “Leave the children alone! Allow the little ones to come to me, and do not forbid or restrain or hinder them, for of such as these, is the kingdom of heaven composed.”

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