An example of the subtlety of self-deceit (and sin)

It is relatively easy to follow what we are inclined to do, consistent with our personalities and temperament; and then, as God blesses us in these inclinations, to, naturally enough, assume we are on the right track always. So, I follow what I am inclined to do often with a very single-minded focus, consistent with my highly enthusiastic and excitable personality and temperament. I know God, in his love for me, has blessed these aspects of myself, and in the process has used and developed my gifts accordingly, for mine and other people’s benefit. However, what I often do not see, as I express myself these ways, is that I also get carried away with who I am in relation to God. What I mean by this is that I often deceive myself into thinking (whether consciously or unconsciously) that the ‘I’ that has been blessed is the one driving it all, because God has blessed me. The blessing, in other words, is seemingly an indication from God that I am alright being in control. The subtlety of this self-deceit is where my sin is located, as I believe I am doing God’s will who has blessed me in my personality and temperament certainly, but then falsely assume that God has helped me to be self-sufficient as a result. Consequently, in my single-mindedness and enthusiasm I race ahead, intent on doing God’s work for sure, but then I fail to wait for him, and then receive his anointment. Or, as it says in Psalm 46:10 I fail to be still with him; I also fail to know that he is God, and not me!  

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